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…Turkeys are too plain?

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, which means that all across the country, thousands of turkeys will give their lives to celebrate the slaughtering of Indians (ok, I digress, it’s also a celebration of family get-togethers and giving thanks, but it’s always good to remember the origin, right?). You could always just bake your bird for a few hours, rub it with some seasonings, and call it a day, but that wouldn’t be very much fun now, would it? DYH is here to help with some alternative holiday turkey preparations for this feathered feast.


Option One: Turducken

Made famous by John Madden, this uniquely American dish consists of a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken then filled with stuffing. Each bird is de-boned before its insertion, and the end result is a mass of meat and stuffing that is sure to send any vegetarians off the deep end (but then Thanksgiving isn’t exactly a vegetarian’s favorite holiday now, is it?). If three birds aren’t enough, you could attempt to recreate a roast created for a French feast in the 19th century called the Bustergophechideckneaealckideverwingailusharkolanine. This beast of a bird consisted of a bustard stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an ortolan and a passerine, because nothing says Thanksgiving like excessive excess.

Deep Fried Turkey

Option Two: Deep Fried Turkey

A Louisiana creation, the deep fried turkey is a delicious option for those short on time, as the deep frying process takes considerably less than a traditional oven or rotisserie grill method. The only thing needed to deep fry a turkey is a fryer big enough to fit the bird into, and thankfully these have become much easier to obtain thanks to the growing popularity of this dish. At three minutes per pound, you’ll have Kernel Sanders jealous in no time. Just make sure to dispose of the hot oil properly; you don’t want to end up taking a bath in the stuff.

Paper Turkey

Option Three: Paper Turkey

Though you can’t exactly eat this turkey, a paper turkey would make quite the centerpiece at your holiday table. Complete plans and instructions are readily available, and you’re sure to impress your friends with your origami mastery (though probably not your culinary skills if they try to eat it).

White Castle

Option Four: White Castle Stuffing

If you’re going to stick with cooking a classic bird, you might as well spice it up a little bit with a unique stuffing. Nothing says “I think outside the box” like a stuffing made with White Castle Burgers. The recipe is as follows:

    10 White Castle hamburgers, no pickles
    1 1/2 cups celery, diced
    1 1/4 tsp. ground thyme
    1 1/2 tsp. ground sage
    3/4 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
    1/4 cup chicken broth

    In a large mixing bowl, tear the burgers into pieces and add diced celery and seasonings. Toss and add chicken broth. Toss well. Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting. Makes about 9 cups (enough for a 10- to 12-pound turkey). Note: Allow 1 hamburger for each pound of turkey, which will be the equivalent of 3/4 cup of stuffing per pound.

Don’t have a White Castle in your area? No problem, they sell frozen burgers at grocery stores across the country.


Option Five: Tofurky

If you’ve got a close foul friend, are vegetarian, or really just can’t stand to join in on this American tradition, Tofurky is always an option (though hopefully a last resort). Made with tofu, Tofurky supposedly has incredible turkey-like texture and flavor. I only hope they make Toduck and Tochicken soon, so that if by some freak accident I became allergic to meat, I could still enjoy a nice Tofurducken.

So there you have it, five off the wall options for this meal of the year. Just make sure you can digest everything by morning, you wouldn’t want to miss out on a Black Friday now, would you?

[Wikipedia – Turducken]

[Chef Paul Prudhomme’s Turducken Recipe]

[Instructables – How To Deep Fry A Turkey]

[MAKE: Blog – Paper Turkey Plans]

[White Castle – White Castle Burger Turkey Stuffing]

[White Castle Stuffing Via: Junk Food Blog]

[Turtle Island Foods – Tofurky]